Before being diagnosed as Type II diabetic I was aware of being short tempered and easily roused. My tolerance of other lessened and I was concerned at this emotion change in myself. I was until very placid and even tempered, although always emotionally led.
I did not have the typical symptoms of daibetes but when having my cholesterol check it was noted I had a high fasting blood sugar last year (6.7) this year it was 12 (7 is used for diagnostic purposes in the UK for fasting blood)
Since starting on Metformin and changing my diet I feel much more in control of my mood and temper.
I found the short article interesting as I came from the opposit direction. I had the mood and temper variation a year before the diagnosis.
I am aware of a collegue who has been type I diabetic for years and there is also "evidence" of mood changes with him when he is low blood sugared. The cry of "give jock a mars bar he is crabbit" often goes out. (trans from scots. Give Jock a high glucose chocolate bar he is ill tempered.)
Hope this is of interest. Perhaps it need researched more as some domestic agression etc could be due to blood sugar levels, esp. in overweight males of a certain age. The alochol effect in agressive older males may be more to do with blood sugar than simply the effect of alcohol and giving glucose may regulate their mood quicker than waiting for sobriety.

Before being diagnosed as Type II diabetic I was aware of being short tempered and easily roused. My tolerance of other lessened and I was concerned at this emotion change in myself. I was until then very placid and even tempered, although always emotionally led.
I did not have the typical symptoms of daibetes but when having my cholesterol check it was noted I had a high fasting blood sugar last year (6.7) this year it was 12 (7 is used for diagnostic purposes in the UK for fasting blood)
Since starting on Metformin and changing my diet I feel much more in control of my mood and temper.
I found the short article interesting as I came from the opposit direction. I had the mood and temper variation a year before the diagnosis.
I am aware of a collegue who has been type I diabetic for years and there is also "evidence" of mood changes with him when he is low blood sugared. The cry of "give jock a mars bar he is crabbit" often goes out. (trans from scots. Give Jock a high glucose chocolate bar he is ill tempered.)
Hope this is of interest. Perhaps it need researched more as some domestic agression etc could be due to blood sugar levels, esp. in overweight males of a certain age. The alcohol effect in agressive older males may be more to do with blood sugar than simply the effect of alcohol and giving glucose may regulate their mood quicker than waiting for sobriety.

Apologies if this is posted twice I ammended a comment after first posting.

Before being diagnosed as Type II diabetic I was aware of being short tempered and easily roused. My tolerance of other lessened and I was concerned at this emotion change in myself. I was until then very placid and even tempered, although always emotionally led.
I did not have the typical symptoms of daibetes but when having my cholesterol check it was noted I had a high fasting blood sugar last year (6.7) this year it was 12 (7 is used for diagnostic purposes in the UK for fasting blood)
Since starting on Metformin and changing my diet I feel much more in control of my mood and temper.
I found the short article interesting as I came from the opposit direction. I had the mood and temper variation a year before the diagnosis.
I am aware of a collegue who has been type I diabetic for years and there is also "evidence" of mood changes with him when he is low blood sugared. The cry of "give jock a mars bar he is crabbit" often goes out. (trans from scots. Give Jock a high glucose chocolate bar he is ill tempered.)

Hope this is of interest. Perhaps it needs researched more as some domestic agression, work place anger, sudden poor decison making etc could be due to blood sugar levels, esp. in overweight males of a certain age.

The alcohol effect in agressive older males may be more to do with blood sugar than simply the effect of alcohol and giving glucose may regulate their mood quicker than waiting for sobriety if low blood sugar is found, medical intervention may help if hypergycemia is found.

My husband has type 2 diabetes. He is a good man, yet the fluctuations in his blood sugar levels coincide with agressive and moody behaviors that often border abuse. He doesn't appear to comprehend that his moods and behaviors are affected by his blood sugar, and this is a cause for disharmony in our marriage.

My husband too as Type 2 diabetes. Sheri, thank you for your post as I have never known anyone else was dealing with what the borderline (and sometimes not so borderline) verbal abuse. His diabetes combined with his COPD and chronic back pain has almost done me in.

My husband too has Type 2 diabetes. Sheri, thank you for your post as I have never known anyone else was dealing with the borderline (and sometimes not so borderline) verbal abuse. His diabetes combined with his COPD and chronic back pain has almost done me in.

I was diagnosed with diabetes about 2 years ago and went on insulin injections about a year ago. I have had mood swings for years, but never attributed it to diabetes - mainly since I wasn't diagnosed. I thought that my mood swings had eased since going on insulin --until today-- my wife told me that she's been thinking of leaving me for weeks, because of my unpredictable moods. I'm at a loss! I can't fathom life without my family! Any diabetic men reading this -- take a close look at your actions. Before it's too late!

My father has type 2 diabetes. Recently he has become increasingly moody and aggressive towards my mum (as with Stacey, bordering on abuse, certainly verbal), particularly in the evenings. We suspect it has something to do with his diabetes but when we went to the doctor they said his levels weren't too bad. He doesn't acknowledge that anything is wrong and it is breaking my mum's heart and very difficult to know how to respond. He is trying to shut down her lines of communication ... i.e. with friends and family and has become overly jealous and paranoid. What can we as a family do if they won't help themselves, or acknowledge there is a problem?

Been almost diagnosed with dabetes from a very abnormal glucose tolerance test. I have had food related mental disturbances for decades. It may have to do with the rate of change in blood sugar. Very low carbs control it for awhile. Ranges from paranoia to depression to anger and agitation. Its a constant stuggle and even after years i'm amazed at how quickly 'the switch' can be thrown that destabalizes my outlook. Whether the world is cheery or gloomy can be altered with a few bites of a bagel and a glass of soda.

THANK YOU. After reading Sheri, Stacy, Lane et al...I'm not so crazy afterall. My husband has type 2 Diabetes with out of control sugars such as 250 to 400 plus day to day. He claims that is "normal " for him. He is under doc care but often eats whatever he wants and takes his meds when he wants. His mood swings are...yes, borderline verbally abusive
. Alcohol seems to make it worse. I don't know what to do. We've been married for 12 years. This is really hard on me. I'm 12 years younger and in very good shape. He doesn't even see it. Is this normal?

I found out in Dec.07 that I am Type 1, and have been taking injections since.As Lane says though, I've always been a little moody, but never had any reason to think it had anything to with being diabetic. As of late though, it has begun to affect not only my home life, but work as well. Home life is a little easier, mainly because my wife is a nurse in the dialysis unit at the hospital.Work however, is a different story. Lately I have found myself lashing out at co-workers for very little or no reason at all. I find myself to be highly irritable, even over little things. Most of the reading I have done suggests diet and moreover exercise are key ways to deal with my mood swings. If anyone has any more ideas, I would love to hear back. I also find that open and honest communication with your spouse is very helpful.

I too have a husband with type 2 diabetes, and who has recently had terrible mood swings, from depression to abusive. What can be done about this, are there medications, diets that can help

THANK YOU SO MUCH!. This has been an eye opener. My husband has type 2 Diabetes. He experiences outrages nearly aggressive mood swings, I love him very much, but I am to the point of going it alone. He spontanously verbally abuses me and our children. At times I am frighten, that he is going to take a swing at one of us. I think he feels he has every right “normal” to take out his spontaneous emotional outburst against us. This is causing disharmony in our marriage.

I am an easy going kind person. I was diagnosed with type 2 a couple of years ago. At times I have fits of rage that are very unlike me, at times at night while sleeping causing murderous dreams, causing lack of sleep. When it happens during the day of course I dont kill anyone, and usually I dont even realize it until someone mentions that I am grumpy or something. I have well controlled blood sugars, but still have this phenomena. So I am researching it.

just found out that i am diabetec in sept. and suddenly experiencing same symptoms of mood swings the rest of you are describing...especially becoming irritated with co-workers so quickly. Sometimes even realizing what is happening, but cant' seem to curtail anger. i have NEVER been like this before, and am totally aware that this behavior is not acceptable. When diagnosed, my level was over 400, now the quick temper comes when it drops below 80 or so, which seems to happen mostly in the mornings. Taking glyceride, meticulously watching diet, but still happening. Sorry it's happening to all of you too, but also glad to know that it's a true symptom, and not just me being a bad person.

I am relieved to hear that others are experiencing the same type or abuse from a diabetic husband that I have endured for quite a number of years now. He can be totally sweet, very complimentary to me and then other times a tyrant. I feel like I am walking on eggshells much of the time because I never know what innocent comment I make will trigger his abusive outbursts. I really have shut down a lot and try to make as little conversation as possible because of this. I have developed a hostility toward him that I keep within myself and do not discuss it with anyone. I do not want people to see him in a bad light. My feelings have been hurt so many times by him and I cry a lot when I am alone. It is really hard to live with and has really damaged my self esteem.

I feel just like Susan Someone ploease tell me what to do. I feel it is all my fault. I am blamed for everything.

I too live with a Type 1 Diabetic, my 55 yr. old brother. His mood swings are so severe I now sleep with pepper spray under my pillow. He ruined our family Thanksgiving. Says he harbors grudges that go back years and aren't even valid. His blood sugar is uncontrolable, is depressed and angry at the world. Dr. wanted him to get the insulin pump but he said he refuses to count carbs. Is this required?

I started having mood swings since the early 1980s, but was not diagnosed until 2003, over 20 years later. I was also very laidback and easy going, but I have always struggled with fatigue - I can sleep for hours and hours. But the other symptons started around 1984 and my mood swings were so out of character. Yet because I was very thin, no one expected that I has diabetes. I have hurt people over the years, one in particular who is the love of my life. I have also spent years by myself, believing I didn't have what it took to be in relationships. If you are thinking of leaving your man, please realize what he is goin through. But don't stay if he doesn't change his lifestyle. he has to meet you halfway.

My brother-in-law has type 2 diabetes he is also a very heavy beer drinker with terrible mood swings. He married his high school sweetheart last year after being together for 16 years, they split up a month later. He has now moved 100's of miles away from her and spends his days drinking and playing, money in the bank so no job needed as of yet. I am so worried about him and fear for his health (life). His family thinks he will be fine so they say nothing to him, in fact when he visits us my husband, his brother gets drunk with him 30-40 beers easy in a night. What can I do to help bro-in-law? How do I make my husband see that he's helping to kill his own brother? Please someone help me help them. Thanks to all who take the time to read and reply. Ann

My husband has diabetes and I'm finding it very hard to live with him. He has terrible mood swings, but he doesn't think so. We are constantly yelling. He doesn't take care of himself so I know his blood sugar is not regulated. My stress level is through the roof. I feel its not fair to the kids, but I made a commitment for sickness and in health. For you other ladies out there I'm going to look into some classes at our local hospital on diabetes, maybe you could do the same. They may have some suggestions. I know I was ready to leave last night, but that's not going to solve anything.

My husband was diagnosed with type 2 two years ago. He was off meds for almost a year. He just got back on them two months ago, drinks a bottle of wine, at least, per day, and does not eat right at all. We have been married for 26 years, with 3 boys all grown now, thank God. I just had to get a restraining order for a man whose entire outlook on life has changed. He does not acknowledge his mood swings nor his aggressive, threatening behavior. He was always emotional, but not this. I am to blame for all of the problems in his life, he has refused to work, or look for work for 2 years, and is depressed. I am saddened. Any advice?

Husband of almost 26 years daignosed 2 years ago with type 2. Was off meds for one year, two months started Metforom. Mood swings are daily, he also drinks at least a bottle of wine per day, eats fried foods and cookies constantly. We have three boys who are grown. His mood swings have become abusive, threatening, and violent, breaking things in the house. He blames every one else for everything. I was forced to get a restraining order to protect myself, yesterday. I thought to check out some sites, and imagine my shock to see that this is normal, of sorts. I am so sad. I do not know what else to do. Any advice? He will not acknowlege there is a problem, will not get counseling, it is us. I was thinking that he was bi polar. I am at a loss.

sorry for the duplicate posting, beatrice and fay same post, sorry

i don't know if someone else responded with this comment but my husband had problems with mood and was severly depressed. it turns out his testosterine level was dangeriously low. they had him on depression medicine and everything before it was finely figured out. please have your husbands get tested.

My husband is a type 11 diabetic. He gets very moody and picky over the slightest of things. He uses artificial sweetner in his tea and on cereals but likes the very occassional glass of red wine. He doesn't smoke. I really need help in coping with his mood swings because I am sufferring from depression as a result.

Wow...I now feel I am not the crazy one. My "significant other" and I have been togehter 13 years now. He found out about his Type 2 when it was almost to late. He drove tow trucks for years drinking "stay awake" drinks and one night his numbers hit 650. The doctors couldn;t understand how he walked in tto the emergency room compaining of blurry vision.
He has always been moody, I just chalked it up to "typical man" but since we have found out more about the illness I have come to understand the mood swings. It is almost perdictable. He is very verably abusive and thinks that everyone is out to get him. he can't accept that he is still the same man, not a weaker one. He is an ironworker and believe me that makes it alot worse. We have four children together and as the kids have grown they have come to accept his mood swings but it is at a point that I am thinking of leaving instead of listening to it all the time. He also eats as he wishes and takes the meds as he feels (pretty much when he can't stand the way he feels anymore) His new theory on life is you have to die of something. I wish there was a way for him to understand that it is okay that he is sick and that he can control it and get better before it is too late and he loses his family and freinds. If there is anyone that can suggest anything I would have an open ear. We all love him and hate to see something that could be change risk his life.

My husband also has outbursts where his complaints are irrational. He acts angry and glares at me as if he hates me. Most of the time he is the most romantic of men, telling me he loves me and being tender. But then he turns into this Jekyl & Hyde character. It affects my health and I feel the stress could lead me to disease.

You have provided a great service in printing these responses. I don't know what will solve the problem with my husband's unpredictable and irrational outbursts but at least I know I am not alone. I hope I can learn to cope and not lose my own health.

So many relationships end without proper closure - or a chance at marriage therapy. This might just be the reason behind many unexplained breakups and heartache.

Thanks for the interesting piece.

http://www.moonviewsanctuary.com/overcoming-personal-crisis/crisis-tre
atment.html

Your not alone, and I'm not really sure any of us are doing the right thing- of course we all think about leaving, but most of us have children and so much invested- I have a constant fear, if I leave, he will die. My husband is a type one diabetic, diagnosed at 6. We have two beautiful girls, both brave and understanding to all of the situations that we have come across in this daily adventure of living with a diabetic. From kidney failure at the age of 24 to a low blood sugar reaction in the car alone with both the children resulting in a 6 car crash hurting them all and killing another person; we all struggle with this disease. Its enough to have to be the caregiver; and we naturally are, but to be insulted or taken advantage of on a regular basis just makes it unwarranted. I call it exhausting, for lack of a better word. I LOVE my husband, no doubt about that. We had a really bad weekend because he had a tooth ache which made his blood sugar levels sit really high (stress on the body) and we all got the blunt of it. Easter morning was a disaster, and that night was even worse- after he ripped his pump out of his leg and threw it across the room crying how he can't stand to be in constant pain; I too said, enough is enough. Two days later he can't understand why I am so quiet. . still in shock about the Sunday night "incident". The truth is, there are ways to deal with the pain, its a life choice- it's about dealing with what you've got- making changes for the better. We all have to do it, and so do they. Being diabetic is not enough of an excuse to mistreat or uproot your entire family. Without all the episodes, treating the emergencies is enough already. Keeping them slim to none is a goal, keeping the outrages slim to none is essential. In the end it's not our choice, it's theirs. I feel all of your pain for mine is so deep today. I hope to hear more about this soon.

I have recently started dating someone with diabetes. I thought I was going crazy until I started doing research on the disease. It is amazing how his mood swings change so drastically. I can do nothing at all and he becomes angry and violent. He has been upfront from the beginning of our relationship about his illness, but I am unsure if he knows that his behavior can be triggered by his disease.

Wow I cannot believe how much what i have read here is my life! My best friend and love of 12 years was just diagnosed with diabetes. I feel as if he resents me. A quick background: For many years I have been asking him to see a doctor, just for the everyday problems he had and also because that to me that just makes sense when you are nearing 50. (he has never in the 12 years I know him had blood work done until 4 days ago) As of 4 months ago I BEGGED him to see a doctor while I watched his weight disappear before my eyes. He also is a beer drinker and smoker. His mood swings were becoming just crazy. But not to others just in the privacy when we were alone. Sometimes we would be out and it would begin the moment we got into our car alone, other times it would wait until we got home. Well these last months it intensified and during that time is when I also began to notice the weight loss and other classic symptoms of diabetes (now, you must realize - I still didn't get the connection of the mood swings) I begged him to see a doctor which he refused, because I know deep down inside he thought he had cancer and would be told he had a few months to live _ which he had since voiced to others. So now we are to the present. Finally his employer pretty much told him to see a doctor and referred him to his. I called for the appt, and was told there was a 2 week wait even after I adamantly repeated his symptoms the urgency for him to be seen and the person who referred him. This appt finally was on 5/26. I also asked him to see a different doctor to try to get in sooner since to me this is becoming an emergency. Now again I am still upset because I have been watching this weight loss and thirst and urination for many months. The doc says you are classic diabetic but lets get this blood work drawn up and go from there and we will also do full range of work for prostate, liver etc and a chest xray. We went together for him to have all of this done early Wed 5/27. Long story short: following his appt on Tues afternoon he began to gorge on anything and everything from beer to icecream to chocolate milk to tastycakes a couple of hurricanes and a few lemonades This is pretty much his usual but who would do that after the doc gave his diagnosis. His theory was - well let me have it now cos once my blood work comes back I won't be able to. I told him that he must not do this to himself and it became a battle to the finish. MY MISTAKE and I am so so sorry. The blood results came back Thursday afternoon and the doctor personally told him must go to the ER because his glucose after fasting was 389. He was all jolly and said can I have a glass of chocolate milk and shower first? Doctor said I can't believe you are walking around yet alone worked a full day of construction yes you may shower. When we arrived at the ER his sugar was 500 and by the time he was fully checked in it was 700! He will be in the hospital for a few days while levels are regulated. As of tonight is still hanging in upper 200's. He has learned to stick and monitor, and count carbs and adjust insulin for each meal and of course give himself insulin. All of this from a man who didn't want to got to a doctor for routine visits the entire 12 years we have been together. And on top of it all he is Mr Smiles for everyone in the hospital and who visit except for me. Go figure. Well I always was the one he blew up on. He tells his friends I am his anchor and then goes on to say she is a bit tired, this has been a strain on her. Never telling them the strain is he can't look me in the eyes without his turning cold. Please tell me why. My son's theory is because he is angry with himself and just can't bring himself to tell me that he wished he had listened to me. I am watching him turn his wonderful smile on every doctor and nurse and visitor and I am so alone. (I am not a jealous person, this charm is what attracted me to him years ago) of course my friends are understanding, but I am so so hurt. I am so relieved he is getting healthy, I just want him to say THANK you and I am SORRY I didn't go sooner.
I feel like my heart has been broken 100's of times these past months. I love him so very much and wish so much it didn't have to go this far before he got help. And I am so very fearful for what it will be like when he comes home and there is no more extra special attention which he is soaking up now and we will be adjusting to this new lifestyle together. I know I sound terrible, but I am a realist who has had several surgeries, one minor one as recent as mid May and also has had 2 wonderful sons via C section and all those other "goodies" that are part of being a woman and loving mom and partner who wants to be there for her loved ones. This man who I love dearly has made me feel so low for trying to help him. God knows I did not want this to happen to this man I love. and why is he being mean to me while being the comic for everyone else? Of course I do known the answer - But please tell me what can I do to swallow my hurt and anger and be the best partner I can to him. I am open to hear any advice and criticism. Thank You to anyone who actually read through my tirade. PS Also he is on small dose of Librium since he did admit to quite a few beers/day. I hope in a few weeks I will be able to write and offer advice to help someone who feels as low as I do right now.

Living with Type 1 diabetes is horrible. It has effected my entire
family. The outburst my husband has is
scary. He is a totally different man.
He becomes irate. I know he doesn't mean it, but, it becomes very difficult to handle. We all end up suffering.

i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetees,a couple of years ago,and its slowly getting worse,the mood swings ,the violent rages,i cant help myself,sometimes get very depressed,dont feel like going on anymore ,i am 57

I didnt thimk i was that bad untill i started looking on here after being told in work im grumpy and rude and wondering why as i didnt feel it and thought i was in a pleasant mood. Now i think its time to have a chat with the practise nurse as i know i mood swing and thought it was just one of those things! ive been type 2 for about 8 years and have a wonderfull supportive wife who i know puts up with a lot of mood swings.

I am so surprised! my partner just been through some tests to check for diabetes, he had the levels quite high, but have not been diagnosed yet. Talked with my mum about my problems with him, won't go into details, but i am so shocked that there are so many people that live on egg shells and are unhappy,but deaply in love with their partners, like I am!!! I never knew that could be the case! Thanks for opening my eyes!
And I was crying and stressy all this week just because of his behaviour! Thank you very very much!

My husband has type II diabetes, and was diagnosed about 11 years ago. For just over a year he has been insulin dependent as well as taking metformin. The anger and crazy stuff that goes on in his head will probably chase me away. We have been married for over 38 years, and this Mother's day, 2 days before my birthday, he was ranting and almost exploding with anger and actually made me get out of the truck in a parking lot. Our daughter had to drive me home. At least 3 times a year he tells me what a terrible wife I am and threatens divorce, throwing my "shit" out, throwing my computer against the wall, etc. In actual fact, I am a very good wife, and it is not likely anyone else would put up with his behavior. Eating ice-cream 2-3 times a day, high carb meals such as cereal, pasta and bread, and lots of fatty foods have taken their toll. Even though I understand how the diabetic diet works, and am more than willing to prepare these meals, he is in denial and will not let me help him. He has to decide to change his ways, and is not willing to admit that his habits put him in this position in the first place. Oh yes, he is obese, but not to the point of no return. He has bad knees so exercise is limited. All I can say is that in some small way it is comforting to know that I am not alone in this struggle, but when will it end?

After years of an off and on love affair, my partner and I finally started a mature and fulfilling relationship just months ago. Although he's always had a quick temper, he's as charming as can be -- and a real romantic when it comes to me. Then suddenly he began exhibiting classic Type 11 Diabetes symptoms and a few weeks later visited his doctor who confirmed the disease. Right away he started taking medication 3x/day, eating balanced meals and walking around his neighborhood. It's only been a month and during this time he's appreciated my support and loved the fact that I was willing to alter my lifestyle to adapt to his (at 60, I'm six years younger, pretty healthy and still working at a high-pressure job). He's retired with lots of friends, but little to do and with children and grandchildren who live some distance away. Family members who do live in our community or nearby (several who have diabetes themselves) think he's doing a good job at handling his new diagnosis. But over the weekend, I saw my loving S.O. morph from charmer to hateful stranger in the blink of an eye. He'd been complaining for days about an uneasy feeling that I chalked up to anxiety about staying on track with his meds, testing and diet. He even joked that the enormity of Type 11 was just beginning to set in and it was turning him into a real bear. I suggested he call the doctor for an anti-depressant, but he's so high-strung he's already taking one and didn't want anything else prescribed. His anxiety grew worse as we watched a few football games on Saturday and by evening, he'd stopped talking to me and only glared in my direction with rage. I was relieved when he finally left and thought he'd snap out of it by the next day. Instead, he could barely talk to me and only nodded and glenched his teeth when I asked if he wanted to be left alone. Thankfully, we have separate homes, so I've retreated to mine and left him alone in his. No phone calls, visits, emails, nothing at all -- despite the fact that we usually talk on the phone or visit each other several times a day. Having this disease shatter our happy reunion is horrible -- esp. this late in our lives. I'm sorry he's ill, but after reading so many of these posts, I realize his condition may not ever improve and that I should protect myself from whatever future abuse could be in store. Isn't there a safe mood-altering drug that men with Type II can take? I hate to think of him being alone, but I don't want to see that cold, mean "I could just kill you" look in his eyes ever again! I'm not a confrontational woman, so I'm sure it would be easier for me to walk away sooner rather than later.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is the best description of my husband of 32 years. He usually goes off on me or one of the kids between 10:30pm and 1:00am. He will walk into a room where one of us is sleeping and start screaming at us. How can we set him off if we are sleeping... He is so vile and hateful. I've thought about contacting his Dr. but he changes Dr's every year. I am just numb from being hurt over and over again. I can't tell anyone about what I live with because I am ashamed about how I am treated by my husband. I confided in one friend and she recommended leaving him... so I never mention it to anyone. It just makes me look stupid for staying with him.

I do not remember having any big fights our first 15 years of marriage... the 2nd 15 has been nothing but fighting. He never remembers what he has said to me and denies saying things to me when I mention it later. He will say it's not his diabetes but that "we" are bad and responsible for his mood.

I wish there was a medication to get my husband back and have a great retirement with him. We did have a pretty nice vacation this summer and it was the first time in a long time that I saw him relaxed. He actually helped me fix a meal and swept the place we were staying... I am sure we are no different than others this economy has effected. We have money problems and it magnifies everything...

This felt good getting off my chest and I felt better seeing what I believed was happening validated in writing by others. If it hadn't been for the first 15 years of my marriage being good I would just sum it up that he was a jerk... I believe in marriage in sickness and in health. I love my husband. I am going to try the exercise thing (maybe walking together) and we are starting a new diet. I hope to see a big difference. I'll cross my fingers and pray alot! Best wishes to all of you on here!

It has been real eye opening to read these posts as I have been in a relationship with a "brittle diabetic" for the past year. We love each other very much but his severe mood swing of lae have thrown me totally off base. He is 11 years older than me and has a family history of diabetes. If I recall, both parents died as a result. Mother even suffered with dementia. I am a researcher and educator by profession, so a lot of information about diabetes was not new. However, the mood swings caught me totally off guard. I started noticing trends and thus made the correlation. Just recently we had a misunderstanding. he took my words and twisted them into want he percieved. Within a couple of days he was fine and wanted to be around me, but the next morning he bacame a badgering asshole. I apologized for the delivery of my words and he still wants to harbor anger. Needless to say, I am very tired and mentally exhausted. I really love this man and honestly believe that he loves and adores me. We are both believers of Christ and as such, I try to abide by the love that God has placed in my heart. I am so lost. I know that I can help this man and I would love to do nothing more than to keep him healthy and alive. He smokes cigars on a egular basis and drinks. He does try to watch what he eats, but his levels are so unpredictable. As i am typing this post, he is at his house and I am at mine, waiting on forgiveness for words that were twisted and misunderstood. It's hard not to cry or to feel sadness. I have to trust that God has a plan...because if "I" start to take over, I will end the relationship. Any words of encouragement will be greatly appreciated.

Wow. This all matches me. I just woke up from a mood swing and sat down at the computer and punched in deep down mood swings. I don't really trust western medicine. I chalk most of my mood swings up to cutting my emotions off, something I learned to do when I was young. Or being afraid to go with the moment. Or not genuinely being myself . . . or being connected w/ god. All 1-and-the-same. I look at the bigger context and just seem to think that it's only common sense to me that most men and women experience mood swings and drastic body imbalance. We're not living how we our biology shaped us to live for hundreds of thousands of years, surrounded by tribe members, in nature, eating simple foods, uncontaminated water, air, foods, a sense of belonging and purpose, and a deep connection with the Source. So, I'm having conflicting thoughts here. It's great to have come across an explanation for what I'm going through, or a word to put to it. But also, I'm like, so . . . now there's a word. Is there a legit cure? What is REALLY going on here? I'm open to the fact that maybe insulin would just magically clear everything up, but I kinda doubt it's the root cause. I know for a fact that my root cause is a deep self-hatred that's always operating at some level. Food is to mood swings as alcohol is to inhibitions. Both food and alcohol just allow the behaviors and tendencies we normally repress to surface, is what I think. And I personally think, if it's understood that way, it's an opportunity. Like right now for example. I feel extremely sad. Instead of slapping the word "mood swing" on it, or "diabetes induced" why don't I take it as genuine? I'm sad. The food I ate earlier helped me uncover it. Nice, it's an opportunity to explore why I'm sad. So, why am I sad? Well, mostly because I feel like a failure. I have so many wonderful ideas and projects to help save the planet but I can't seem to get my sh*t together to accomplish any of them. On top of that I'm not consistent in any of my relationships and I want a girlfriend, but don't want to put her through my mood swings, and I don't really see a girl really wanting me, so I don't really put my heart out there. Also I don't communicate how I'm feeling deep down to people much because I don't want them to think I'm crazy. Or to label me and put me on meds. So, is that all legit? Yea, sure, it'd make anybody sad and sometimes hopeless. But do I need insulin and a diabetes diagnosis? No, I probably need some people who really know what's going on with me. And I need to continually not be in hiding with my true self. I need people I trust. People I can communicate with. To be understood. To be known. I need people to see why I am the way I am, or at least to ask. I don't know where I'm going with this. Above, it was wonderful that people were discovering they weren't alone. It just sucks that your dudes aren't opening their hearts to you. And they're probably not getting a whole lot of other needs met either. We're all living dishonest gross lives with our complicity in the ruining of the environment and mass killings of people all over the earth. And we all know it at some level. Most of us are in jobs we hate, and bound to BS committments that aren't really us. I'm a big believer in, if we all followed our bliss, we'd have no physical illness (among other things I could say about it). Is he following his bliss w/ regard to you? Maybe he's afraid to go the whole way, or he's off and on as some of you've said. Or maybe his bliss isn't you; better out and onward than kept in and to cause sickness. As for me, just my being able to share my feelings openly and honestly is bringing my mood up. I am a worshipper of the Goddess you all are the Goddess incarnate. It strikes me that most of you seem very in tune with your emotions, and are able to give love and are trying to connect emotionally, even if he's not. And, I don't think one of you said you have diabetes. Go figure huh? That's why I think all you Goddesses gotta understand that we need you to teach us with tenderness and patience, and give us a safe space to start to explore our emotions. Just watch us, watch the sublety. We're all terrified to show you when we're lost and scared. Nobody ever showed us how to cry and rewarded us with love every time we're able to open up and show you our real selves. Anger and temper is just us saying we're afraid to show the softer emotions. I see energies. I see blockages. The perilous situation on this planet, in my opinion, is the aggregate result of all those who are / were never able to break down and truly share how they're feeling deep down. To me it's not a funny situation. We're all killing ourselves collectively because we're not reaching in to heal each other. Instead we're pawning it off on "diabetes" and go-take-some-insulin. Again, I could be wrong. Maybe the cure is insulin. But I don't think so. And while we pay Pharm companies for a cover-up, the planet continues to fall apart. I wouldn't be writing all of this if I haven't been gaining confidence in my ability to heal others lately. Ever since I was a child I've healed people just by listening to them, and sucking all the bad energy and blockages out of them. You all listened to me, now I wish I could listen to all of you. I wish we were all in a real room together so all the Goddesses could bond, and become like the women in India, very close and supportive of each other. Hehe. I was just telling my mom today. I think all women should just start bonding together. Leaving their husbands if necessary. And form the "helper monkey" society. Where the only males they'll let in their presence are ones who are sweet, and giving, and prove that they are trustworthy enough to take care of the babies. Ha! get that. You gotta earn the right to be around the babies. Makes sense to me. Anyways. I'm lonely, but I know my Goddess is out there somewhere. And my time alone is squeezing the last vestiges of resistance out of me so that when I find her she won't have to put up with the on-and-off emotional severing that it sounds like you all go through. Maybe all us guy-monkeys needs to all get in a group and start talking about our emotions before we will have the confidence that we can maintain intimacy with you all. What a number this divide-and-conquer society has put us through. There was a time when we all understood each other. None of this silly confusion. I don't like the shallowness of it all. But then again. I've been shallow. How about I'll call you on it, and you call me on it :-P aaaah, I don't know. Obviously I'm edge and in need of some intimate conversation. Where is she where is she . . . I can feel her . . . just can't see her yet . . . aaaanyways . . . yea . . . there's your diabetes . . . in my humble opinion. Peace

Hello,I suffer from bipolar disorder I Am treating it with meds.but mu fiance has been the love of my life has diabetes he has recently started having mood swings that scare me to death,he has even been known to throw my poor little dog across the room.I am in a very bad depression now because of his mood swings.any advice would do me good,as I have nobody to discuss this with.

Hi, I get rages. I'm 48, fair control of type 2 but not always great. I don't drink much to speak of.
I am aware that I get powerful, all-consuming and overwhelming rages that defy description or rational sense of conduct. I have learned, in most cases, now, how to deal with it and I no longer allow the rage to control me in the way it did. I have a whole package of emotional baggage and crap that certainly contributes to the difficulty but without a doubt having low sugar triggers the difficulty-often tied to self esteem and sense of paranoia.
It is then a question of whether I let it control my behavior. Louise, my gal, is aware of it and has certainly been victimized by it on occasions. Louise is bipolar. She agrees that I have learned to manage my conduct far better than before. Part of the management has been councilling by a psychologist and part of it is the realization that when I have those feelings it is the the body chemistry talking and not necessarily a matter of somebody doing me wrong - or out to get me.
I made the conscious change because of the harm it was doing to others and to myself and my happiness. Strangers and acquaintances did not deserve my wrath and misbehavior. I am no better than them and we have all have erred and hurt others.
When ever I allowed the feelings to control my conduct and hurt other people I was left with a sense of failing.
Help the diabetic to be aware of what they are doing. Try to love them and teach them that it is just a screwed up body chemistry they have - and it is not a failure of them as humans.
I wish you all the best. Peter & Louise

Thank you everybody. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that I'm not the only one - I used to have a boyfriend who is a diabetic, and he was verbally abusive at the slightest of incidents and totally unpredictable. At one point, I started tiptoeing around trying to avoid any topic that would cause a tantrum. It has ended some months ago, and as much as I have loved him, I don't think I'd have managed in the long run. He scared me so much. - To all of you who are still an item, all the best and good luck finding out what helps best to avoid the mood swings.

I am married to a type 1 diabetic. I'm having trouble buying the idea that his short temper is solely due to the diabetes. Seems he can control his actions and words just fine when he's around other people, but just itches for a fight when he comes home and no one else is watching. Does any one else struggle with these thoughts? We've been married 8 years, but the last year has been a living hell, and I'm ready to get out. He was yelling at me today and when our 2 year old said "No, No, Daddy!" he put her in time out for interfering. The things he says to me and the way he treats his family are totally different than how he acts at church. If he can control himself there, why not at home? This leads me to believe that his actions cannot be totally blamed on the diabetes. Also, I'm wondering if any diabetics have had any luck with medication? It's been so bad lately that I've been taking much more Xanax than I should be, and I've been concerned for my own health due to all this...

I felt so alone before reading your comments. My husband and I have been married 18 years and I feel like I have been losing my best friend since his diagnosis in 07. He has always had a temper but it has gotten so bad in the last year. Especially after they switched him from 1/2 of his insulin to metformin er. He loses it at a moments notice and our children and I are afraid all the time that we'll set him off. I love my husband, we have a long history but I don't know him anymore. I pray all the time for him to change back into who he was; I'm a stay at home mom and feel so isolated and ashamed.

This is amazing. My husband was just told he needed to live life as a diabetic. His doctor put him on medication for type II. Tonight he went off on me because I got on to him for skipping lunch. I had been out all day with the kids so he could get caught up on work from his job. When I returned home I made dinner and just before we sat down he yelled at the 8 year old for taking a sip of his drink before I sat down.
We have only been married for two years and his mood swings have been a problem. You all are not giving me much hope of them getting any better with his taking medication and eatting a proper diet.

I am so glad to have found this site. No I know i am not going crazy. My husband was just been diagnosed with diabetes last year and had been on medication up until Dec. when his doctor decided to take him off and have him try to control his levels with diet and exercise. Ever since he has been off the medication he has turned into a crazy person. Like most of the comments mentioned he is scary. Me and my children have been going through this for years and did not know what was wrong with him. While he was on the medication it was like being married to a totally different man. I feel in love with him all over again. My children had a totally different father. But now he thinks he is ok and that its everyone else's fault for the way he is acting. I tried to talk to his doctor who was of no help. If there is anyone out there that could be of some support or have anyone who can help us with our diabetic husbands please come forward. In much distress.

I recented ended a relationship with my boyfriend. He was diagnosed he said at the age of 19 and has been getting injections since then. Well now he is 49 and we had such a good communication over the phone but when we moved in together it lasted 3 wks. His sugar got so low 32 paramedics were called on serveral occasions. When he came back to reality he treated me so bad. He would holler at me, blame me for not doing this or that, nothing was ever right in my house that he noved into, complaints everyday. The last draw was his sugar went soo low that I had to keep in in 1 room, he was being very distructive not knowing what he was doing. I couldn't get anything in his mounth. My children witness this and they are now scared. I told him he had to go. I feel bad but he was not taking care of himself. He skipped soo many meal and as I'm reading info on this you must be on a strict diet or at least eat in between meals, and he didn't. That last morning he at breakfast at about 7am and by 4pm he was slipping away on the bed, it took everything I had to wake him, that's why I called the paramedics. His clother were wet and he didn't know who I was. But throught it all I'll always remember the good days. This disease his serious, but I can't help someone that won't help himself. I feel guilty for ending the relationship right now, but I scared for my 2 girls and myself because he got very destructive. Has anyone ever dealt with anyone when their sugar got real low, was he close to diabetic coma. I was once married to an abusive husband so this was to close to that situation. please share...(

So I am not the only one. Im ready to end my marriage over my husbands outrages. Two days of yelling then Mr. nice shows up again. I have come to the conclusion it is their choice. As a type 1, I realize he did not ask for the cards delt, neither did I with my own health problems. I have children to think of. People can call me cold but I have had it and like most after reading the comments here am glad I am not the only one going through this.

i cant believe im reading all this. i have felt so alone with my feelings and thought that i have been going crazy. my boyfriend has type 1 diabetes. ijust broke up with him last night after he became verbally abusive and then pushed me. it was so scary he was like a completely different person, the way he was talking to me was frightening like a wwas a complete stranger who he couldnt care if was alive or dead. it was intense. we started arguing over something small then it became distorted- we dont live together we did before and i struggled with insufficient sleep with him often he would be getting up late to eat food to counteract his low blood sugar and then i couldnt sleep. in the morning he woud let his alarm ring maybe 5 times. i found that hard then he would blame me and tell me im the one who is grumpy every morning. well this happened again. he was trying to get out of letting me stay the night because he was worried of how i would be n the morning. i was tryng to get him to compromise and turn his alarm off sooner. thats when he started becomming nasty telling me its all b.ullshit and that i was making excuses. it really was like mr hyde. htis has happened before then he yells at me to get out. i started to think he was maybe getting low in blood sugart so i tried to get him to test -all the while he was being VILE i was scared- then he held onto the monitor and wouldnt let me read it. it was like dealing with a little kid in the middle of a huge tantrum. he is 38. he kept saying if the reading is normal then that i have to stop blaming him and admit that i have a problem.. he always does that twists it around so that its me with the problem. anyway it read 2.2 so he was low. then he kept on being vile being sarcastic and imitating me just disgusting saying in a baby put on voice" ohh i cant handle a reltionship i m grumpy in the morning i cant handle blood sugars." (meaning me) i ended up throwing hismonitor at him and leaving. then when i get home he sends me a text to say in bold letters IJUST WANT YOU TO BE NICE TO ME IN THE MORNINGS then- yes we can sort the alarm problem gdnite. i was so angry i ended it. i do care for him but i am at my end this has been going on fr 5 years. his temper .. me feeling like i am walking on eggshells with him, icant say anything to him without him flaring up.im so upset. i know how hard it must be for him having the disease, but i am the one copping it .it makes me worry about future with him nd how he could be infront of kids, and after reading other posts i am scared. i love him when his mood is good he can be adorable. but its so volatile and unpredictible i never know when its going to change so i cant fully relax and feel safe. i have tried to encourage him to talk to somebody in the past about hs anger but he hasnt done anything. im mentally emotionally exhausted and scared.dont know what to do . we have broken up many times before and get back together because i feel for him, but the good never lasts before he has a huge outburst .

they change for awhile, a day or two then they just go back to not testing, high sugars and temper tamptrums, like having a third child in the house. Blaming us for the problems, refusing therapy. Yep deal with it everyday, unfortunatly after talking with a divorce attorney I will owe him every month...........if anyone decides to stay with "Mr. Moodswing" be really prepared to just say "whatever" and walk away, it just get's worse as they age

i feel so incredibly sad this morning. i feel guilt. that i know he has an illness and i am not there for him. he did say to me in the beginning- when i first met him he didnt tell me straight up, but had a hypo on my couch! in the morning i asked him- and thats when he told me. i was uncomfortable inside- but i repressed it, i said it was ok. my step father who died a few years back ( from cancer) had type 1 so i already knew a bit. any way , i accepted it. i knew it wasnt his fault that he got the disease. but somewhere in me i felt afraid of my future of my capability of everything. i said i was ok with it. h said " are you sure?" i said yes( inside i wasnt sure- but being too polite and gutless i didnt ask the neccesary questions to find out more)
i know for men it is really hard to go and get counselling and to open up. especially some men.. and i think the longer it goes the more crap that is built up inside of them- hence their outbursts. we dont deserve it.
on the edge- did he have it before he met u? and i know its personal but i am really worried about future impotence- i have already seen it happened a few times. i know it must feel like the end for them, and i end up feling deeply resentful because i am lying to him when i say its ok when its not

janet,
i really feel for you as i went through the same stuff when i lived with my boyfriend. it was terrifying in the beginning when i would wake up in the middle of the night and feel his body drenched with sweat. his boxers drenched.he would be lying there on his back eyes wide staring at the ceiling his jaw and fists clenched his whole body stiff and spasming. going into convulsions. me crying running into the kitchen trying to find something sweet trying to open his mouth i was frantic and scared .. then turning the house upside down trying to find the glucogen injection. i thought he was going to die. now i know that that rarely happens- and it takes along while before they go into a coma too. it is incredibly stressful seeing this happen to the one you care about. i had to get paramedics out too on other nights. i was scared of him. he didnt recognise me. one time they had to get two of them to hold his legs down so they could inject him. and the next morning he wouldnt remember anything. but i was having trouble forgetting.and i would be tired and then feel angry and resentful that it was affecting me so much. i would think that i couldnt do it anymore, he would pick up on it..and yeh it would push us away from each other. if i tried to talk to him he would get defensive. and blame me. after he moved out he eventually changed his nightime insulin and he says he hasnt had any hypos at night since. it is so hard to deal with. it truly breaks my heart. everyone is saying to me its abuse etc get out. i am scared of him and his anger. i guess i am afraid that if his sugars went really low one time that he might hit me. somebody said that you have to give them food as soon as you recognise the change in them if they start acting all weird and snappy.. then get away from them. that is so full on. and yes how how how does that work with kids ? it seems ridiculous that you have to leave your own house( if you're living together) just because their blood sugar is low and they are having a tantrum.

scared: to answer your question, yes it happens and yes he has had it since a childhood. The diabeties and age factor "stuff" I can deal with and knew going into the marriage what may and did come down the line, what the aggravating part is the irresponsiblity of not addressing the maint. of the diease and the outburst that come with it, that I will not stand for. Hope that helps.

should i just run and not look back? thats what some women are suggesting. on the edge how old are you and how long have you been married? do you think his behaviour all diabetes related or is it something else?

My husband is a type II diabetic is on metaformin and insulan injections as well as well as being overweight, the slightest little thing can spark off a terrible mood, but its never his fault according to him, he's been away on a course this week came back Friday, something started him off Saturday morning and he's refused to eat or speak to me since and has spent all weekend in the bedroom, my elderly mother is with us at the moment and according to him its all her fault, not his, I cannot take any more of these moods and am seriously considering a divorce, I just don't know where to go, I am on antidepressants and when he makes me cry he shows no compassion and just says oh no don't start that again, I can't live like this any longer, is it to do with his diabetes or is he just a miserable sod?

scard: Im half way through life........run or stay? depends on your personal situation. Along talk with yourself or a professional may help, I did both and still do. There are many factors to weigh if your $$$ vested legally, after marriage, it just gets to be more legal ties

scared: look, I wanted to clarify something, the help of talking to other people is to get justfication for your feelings..........I don't know how young you are or anything else, I just know in my reality of it all the ups and downs and expensive hospital bills........well..........friends protect you, I went to a professional to see where my feelings are........it's just when, in some states the $$$ thing comes up, wow.....becomes complicated when the ring goes on.............I guess what Im saying is you have to make decisions for you..........in a manner you feel comfortable with.

i don't think we would get married anyway.. we cant even live together at the moment. but i can see how it must be difficult for you.. what are you gonna do?im 38 now. im starting to think he probably has pscychological problems ( depression, antisocial, paranoia,possible bipolar),which was probably already there and then exaserbated by the diabetes. but cant be sure.. could be triggered by the diabetes.had diabetes for 18 years. never been good at expressing his feelings ..so bottles it all up then explodes.. common guy thing. either way, sick puppy. yes ive been to counselling over it for 5 years. still love him and it breaks my heart.

scared: I will have to stay married to answer your question, like I said in my state I am married and I will owe him everything since I am the one with the career................we are roomates at this point and that is it

on the edge, so sorry you are going thru all this. its so unfair.could you take yourself away for a little while, have a holiday or go and stay with a friend for a while? just to de-stress from it a bit..

i dont understand why if you are the one making the money then why should you owe him?? whats the deal

scared: already saw the attorney.......yep I owe him because I have been the main provider for the family, wonderful state I live in......not......getting away, doesn't happen much, I do though, have a couple of days this month at the spa with my best friend which helps. Goes like this where I live, since I am the main provider and have provided income, insurance and retirement everything including 1/2 of my retirement saved during the course of the marriage goes to him, cheaper to stay married. Thanks for asking though. "Boundries".........that is my new word with him

on the edge. boundaries are ALWAYS a good thing. i know for myself that i havent been the best with them in the past. for some reason feel like i am somehow responsible for somebody else's pain, when most of the time it is their own stuff. i think it is difficult once a pattern has been going for a while of taking on someone's issues , to then set firm boundaries. i don't thnk it is impossible, but the other person will probably be in for a shock, because they probably would unaccustomed to it.who knows, it might finally help them to grow up and take responsibilty for their own lives. i think that living with a diabetic is a big challenge in these areas. i realise now that a huge part of me was afraid of the illness and future complications.I , like i said before, tend to become like a sponge.. i soak up too much energy around me. sometimes it is good, because i can see everything, and other times its bad because i wear myself down with it all until i am no good to anybody...just HAVE to try and stand back from it all sometimes and take care of myself.

How wonderful to find this site and know that there are so many others dealing with the same thing. My husband of 28 years has MS and diabetes. He refuses to eat right and take care of himself. For years i have had to walk 'on eggshells' never knowing what to expect. This past month has been especially difficult as my perfectly healthy Dad passed away in his sleep and my husband has been a monster...there is just no other word for it...the pain from the loss of Dad and the verbal abuse from my husband is unbearable. The past two days he has been great so i do not know if the blood sugar has leveled out, but i am constantly on the edge waiting for the mood to change again. Good luck to all of you.

scared: the boundry "thang"...........well took three years of talking with a professional to realize I was NOT so much the problem and the soaking of energy is exactly what it is. No he is not use to it, and I have started setting them, realize this with the help of a close friend of mind. I do not think they want to help themselves at times and the surgars "eat" them up inside, they change, I can't help that though I have given him the tools and an entire medical community for help due to my insurance. You have been helpful, thank you.

E, im sorry to hear about your father. you have been going through a difficult time and need support. are you able to get support from someone other than your husband? do you have some close friends? having to take care of someone who has diabetes AND m.s must be soo hard. i thought i'd had it rough! there are diabetic forums online chatting that he could get involved in . does he use the computer? sounds to me like he is frustrated and needs an outllet. it shouldnt be you. i find alot of men are terrible with expressing emotions and offering sympathy. it doesnt mean that they dont feel it inside, but they havent learnt somewhere along the way how to show compassion. anyway, i think you need to primarily take care of you! if you have to leave for your own sanity and safety please do it! we all deserve to be treated well.take care.

scared: nice support to "E"...........here is to ya...............we do need to take care of each other, not evreyone understands, maybe our Dr.'s but that is about it.........nice post of encourgement :) there is not "out" other than leaving, but one cannot do that, consider yourself fortunate with no kids involved.........your last post was great words to hear.,

WOW....I too have been feeling overwhelmed. I tell my daughter that I am "tired". I feel as though I am in a state of constant prayer because I know that I can not make it through all of this alone. My husband has type II diabetes. He is very overweight and has very severe mood swings. I never know if just a look is going to set him off. We have been married nearly four years and have no children together. He was diagnosed nearly three years ago. He fails to see much good in our marriage and about once per month threatens divorce. He blames me, my two daughters and one grandson, who live with us, for all of his problems. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. He refuses to go to any kind of counseling, said that if I feel the need I can go. Of course, if I ever mention having him test when he is in a "mood", he states that his problems are not his glucose levels. I never know what his moods are going to be. I am a Christian and know that I promised to stay with him through sickness and health. I do not see any "solutions" throughout all of my reading here...however, I know I was led to this site by God because I now know that I am not the only one experiencing these trials. I love my husband and want the man I married back. If anyone knows of anything that has helped them, I would appreciate any input and suggestions.

Also, my husband saves his moods for me. He usually waits until we are alone then will go off. There have been a few times that he has lost it with my daughter, 16 years old, and I have had to be a buffer. He will be all happy and jolly in public and as soon as we get in the truck that will disappear. He tells me how much he loves me one minute and the next will say "you know how I feel" and won't say the words under any circumstance.
I know that I need to find something that will help because I am at the point of not even being able to talk to him or say anything to him for fear of him losing it.
Again....input and suggestions will be appreciated.

ronnie, have you tried testing his blood sugar when he is having one of his moods? that way you can get physical proof -and show it to him-(if it is the blood sugar, which i highly suspect it is). if its shows a low reading, then he cannot blame you. three years isnt all that long. it could be that he is in denial still, and probably suffering depression. i know its so not easy to do and yes yo cannot do it without support. i think that its a balance of giving them the space and encouragement to feel they have the strength in themselves to take care of themselves.. but also knowing that you are there for support, that they wont be abandoned. i imagine it is a terribly vicious cycle and i wonder whether part of it is sabotaging on their part because they dont want to cause you any pain-but that causes pain! i know for myself that there is repressed fear of future complications too..and my partner picked up on that i think. he had those fears everyday, and im wondering if its a case of them sensing that because i am having trouble now with their behaviour that i will probably not cope with them in the future if they get really sick and need taking care of..and they think i will leave them. hang in there ronnie. i think the more you can gently get him to talk about how he is feeling about the diabetes the better..and keep looking after yourself. know that it is not your fault. he has an illness.

ronnie: it is denial...........and more. Remember this they do have an awful health condition, well, so do I and I take my medication when I am supposed to, monitor it and adjust for the situation everyday. My husband does not. He has a insulin pump, all the medical community at his disposal (if he chooses to use it, which he does not) it is also their lifestyle and one they need to take charge of, being angry at you is not an excuse. I do not put up with it any longer and walk away, such as last night when I was accused of him not working.............hello, he has and owns his own business, when he chooses to get up and go work that is his decision but do not, by any means, blame it on me.............each relationship is different.

hey.. just wondering how people who have posted here or anyone new are going??ones that were going to leave.. have you left? or have things got better? i still have had no contact with my man for 3 weeks now. missing him though.alot. i hope he is ok.

Im still here scared: been taking some time off with one of my friends, getting my thoughts back together

hi nate.could we chat sometime? i like your views on things...

on the edge,thats good you're taking some time out i hope you are feeling better. mine walked out of my house in a foul mood a weeks ago.he startd a new diet, but so far he still seems to be grumpy and unhappy with me. i think he just doesnt want to be with me, im really hurt esp after how much care i have shown him. i was even sick for a most of the week didnt hear a thing, it really dawned on me how wrapped up in himself he is.cant handle it anymore.i need to be taken care of too sometimes and he is just incapable.

on the edge, whats happening for you? are you back with him? i went away myself for a week to have a break and get my strength back, was good for me. but still unresolved with partner. he seems to be closing off more and more from me..

After finding this site and reading comments so many stuck home with me. My husband has type 2 diabeties. Many of the comments in regards to the outburts, verbal abuse, feeling isolated etc stuck home with me. How do you cope in your marriage? Everything is always my fault, like what some other people have said I get blamed for everything and he is never wrong.

went away to the snow,his Dr. put him in the hospital when his sugars got too high (again)........dealing with the moods again and need to make a decision on what I need to do.............sorry havn't been on much been dealing with this for a few weeks, hope everyone is haning in there

yeah, and everything being "our" fault..........know what I did, I got my camcorder out and video him talking to me and played it back to him "see you did say all that stuff to me even though you said you did not"..........eye opener I tell ya, and dealing with the marriage part, all I can say now is "what marriage" I just try to co-exist.............night ladies, drive home from the snow wore me out

hi im 21 i finally moved out with in with my fiance 2 months ago and 1 month ago he got told he has type 1 the last week has been hell with the mood swings he will snap over anything i or anyone says to him. been to the doctors and they are useless saying its a phase and he will grow out of it! i now have constant head aches and am so stressed we have been together since we were 13 and he has always been a carefree bubbly guy now he is also crying at work and saying he wants to kill himself its so unlike him i dont know wat to do anymore i just want my fiance back! (crying) and i know its not his fault which makes it worse i feel so alone as no one understands unless they have been through this thanks for listening and thanks for the fact i know i am not alone in the world

:( i sad for people

Have just come across this site. Our doctor wanted my husband to have tests for diabetes, but he refuses. Says there is nothing wrong with him. I had been putting the violent and abusive mood swings down to mixing beer with red wine, which is when it is worse, but I now believe he DOES have diabetes. After 30 years of marriage I can't be bothered leaving, even though I don't love him any more. All these other posts have made me realise it is not my fault. Thank you.

hi, my bf has 6.7 to 7 . Is it high.. does it consider diebetic? he has mood swings too.

Just found this site. I have been married to a Type 1 diabetic for 7yrs. Don't know where to begin. Verbal Abuse yes, Mood Swings terrible, Awakened from a sound sleep to be yelled at yes, Always mine or someone else's fault yes, Afraid to make a peep so that I don't get yelled at yes, Walking on eggshells all the time. Afraid he will hit me No, Do I want to cry almost every night Yes. Do I love my husband...The times in between all of this when he is kind loving and caring I Do. That is all I have to say for now.

Hi. I have just had a read at all of the comments on diabetic men. I have been married for 24 yrs my husband has been a diabetic for 7yrs and over the last 2yrs my life has changed so much due to him changing.I can tell when he will kick off. I get verbal abuse, he smashes things and lashes out at me and really hirts me iam a wreck. All i do then is cry i hate my life with him but i care. He knows what he is doing because if somebody comes when he is that way out he becomes that charming man.I just dont know what to do 3 days ago he hit me bad. Does any one else out there get hirt like iam.?

I am married to a type 1 diabetic as well. How do you deal with the severe mood swings. It seems like no matter what it's my fault. One second sweet as anything then for no apparent reason,, Wham.. it all goes bad. Any suggestions?

I have been married to a wonderful man who was diagnosed type II diabetes about 2 months ago. Upon finding out, he jumped to control his diabetes. He is doing great with that. However, he loves his beer. He occassionall drinks and when he does, he is horribly angry. He scares me so badly I usually end up vomiting...and Im not a meak type. I love him to death, but I dont know I can keep up this torture. It happens several times a week. Tonight, I had done nothing, and he just started going off. He quit smoking last year after 20 years of smoking...but tonight he started that again too. Im so ready to give in when he says its over...Is someone who controls their diabetes but drinks common for severe anger outbursts? If not, then I cant keep this up.

Jane, My Husband has gotten very very angry and I thought a few times that he would hit me. But he never has and said he would never. I would leave my husband if he did. That is definitely where I would draw the line. From everything that I have researched what is being released in their brains is the fight or flight chemical when they get in those rages. If he has hit you now it will probably not stop. You may need to pack up and go stay with family or friends for your own safety. Or see if you can get a number to call for spousal abuse and see what they can do to help.

1 good day and the rest bad. I was making dinner when he saw it was chicken he lost it. Said he stopped by Moms and had chicken today. He had already drank 2 beers. His anger scars me. Tonight I tried telling him about it, but there is no since in talking when they are this way, so I didn't say anything afraid of what would come. He still flipped out. Telling me he would make me pay and I haven't seen anger yet. He has never hit me and I don't think he would. His anger scares me so bad and it just breaks me down. Any words? Anything? How do you deal with this. When do you know it's time to let go. How do you get over the fear of not knowing if everything will be okay financially if they are gone?

Loosing it,
Keep trying to talk to him when he is in his good moods. One time I was so upset I went to a hotel for the night. I have been telling him for the past year that his Dr. Geckle and Mr. Hyde moods are not normal and that he may need anger management classes. I told him that no one should have to walk on eggshells wondering if they were going to be yelled at over nothing. That you don't treat people like that and it is not normal. Took a year of talking every time he was in a good mood but it did start working. I have at least gotten apologies now, right after or shortly after he goes off. And the nasty mood have gotten a lot less intense. Hope this helps.

Recently married and my blood sugar was in control prior to the wedding. Now is a bit more out of control and apparently so am I. There are days when I'm angry, even hateful and afterwards I'm not 100% sure why. After reading this I'm both relieved and worried. Relieved that if I know this might be caused by my blood sugar I'll take that into consideration with the feelings I am having. There is a lot of stress in my life with work and the new family, but I wonder now if there's more going on that I might have considered. If I have to be more aggressive with my treatment to save my marriage that's what I'll do, whatever it takes...

i have been living with my partner for five years he started with mood swings prior to being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes he has recently been put on medication to control the diabetes and has gone into low mood i wonder sometimes if the medication is working i have heard people talk about diabetes affecting the mood so asked my gp about this and he stated that my partner is depressed and it is nothing to do with diabetes but i am still experiencing my partners mood swings which does put stress on our relationship

Men are not the only diabetics having mood swings. I have had them for years and it is affecting my family and marriage since I also get depressed and anxious many times and can't explain why. I get depressed/upset/anxious, and yes the sugar levels do matter. I have been looking for support group for diabetics with anxiety/depression and other emotional problems, but there are no groups.